Trust your client. A survivor may wish to forego child support because the client believes that request could endanger the client or children. Advise the client of their options and ask questions to determine their motive, but ultimately trust and respect the client’s wishes. Remember that your client knows what the abuser is capable of better than anyone else.
Survivors of domestic violence often face challenges in a custody decision that other clients do not typically present. Survivors may be unemployed or may lack transportation. They may have a criminal records or history of drug use. None of these factors alone mean that the survivor is an unfit parent. Often these factors are a direct result of their victimization.
Accusations of adultery against victims of domestic violence are very common. The abuser often views coworkers, neighbors, platonic friends, and even strangers as a threat to the abuser’s control over the victim. Be aware that, while the accusations may sometimes be true, they are often the result of an abuser’s fear of losing control. These accusations are also common within domestic violence relationships, with an imagined act of adultery often serving as the trigger for instances of violence.
Your challenge is to ensure that you are well informed enough to help a judge and guardian ad litem see that factors that could be held against parents in many situations should be considered differently for your client as a survivor of domestic violence.
To do so, it is critical that you maintain a working knowledge of the effects of domestic violence. The ABA’s Standards of Practice for Lawyers Representing Victims of Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault and Stalking are a great starting point for attorneys new to working with survivors of domestic violence, while The Victim Rights Law Center is an excellent resource for more in-depth training.
Survivors usually have multiple legal issues that they need help with, though they are generally only focused on the most pressing. For instance, there are little-known unemployment benefits available to survivors who have been forced to leave a job due to physical abuse. The more informed you are on domestic violence issues, the better prepared you will be to help survivors navigate their challenges.
A domestic violence survivor may have spent years trying to compartmentalize or forget incidents of abuse. In many cases, you are now asking the client to talk about events that they have never discussed as a survival mechanism. You may have to spend more time helping a domestic violence survivor reconstruct the timeline or a relationship than you would need to assist a traditional client.
Strongly encourage your client to speak with a licensed therapist who specializes in assisting survivors. Most survivors have suffered emotional injuries that they may not even recognize, let alone know how to address. Develop a list of trusted resources in your surrounding community.
You may also need to help survivors adjust their expectations of the process, which will likely take much more time than your client expects. The South Carolina custody standard of best interest of the child means that survivors often do not feel that they receive a “fair” result in custody cases. Let your clients know upfront that the court could very well award more custody or visitation to the abuser than the client believes the abuser “deserves”.
Remind Your Client of the Need for Safety
Leaving the household and filing for custody are very dangerous times for your client, as both are threats to the abuser’s control. Sometimes an abuser will act to escalate the level of violence as the abuser perceives control to be slipping away. Be sure that your client knows this, and be sure that they have a safe place to stay. Help the client connect with local shelters and victim advocacy centers.
Help the client consider safety issues presented by any points of contact or communication. How are you going to exchange custody; How will you attend school events; Does no contact extend to social media follows? Your goal is to anticipate danger and work out solutions that can be written into a settlement agreement or requested before a judge.